Land Ho!

Dr. Smeltzer is the Naval Hero of the Bums. It was during the second battle of the Bull was Slung, blood and gore was deep in the souppers. Our Hero cut one to the windward. Admiral Bilgewater of the Swiss Navy decorated him for his gallantery far above the call of duty and he was returned to the states suffering from that rare malady, "Navigational Hallucinations". 

It is thought by some that he has crossed tracts.